What does it mean to be respectful?”
Haddon’s speech therapist was using this word with him, so I decided to follow up.
“It’s to be kind.”
“Do you know anyone who is kind?”
“Piper,” he answered thoughtfully of his big brother. “He pushes me FAST on the tire swing! And he plays Super Mario with me!”
Haddon is in kindergarten, but he’s big for his age. He’s not much smaller than Piper—there’s only one clothing size between them. Piper, who is in fifth grade, is long and lanky—with dark, spiked hair and square rimmed glasses.
And Haddon is right—Piper is genuinely kind. He’s popular among the neighborhood kids who are Haddon’s age. He pushes them around in our old, yellow, hand-me-down plasma car. He often lets them choose the game or volunteers to be “it” for Tag. All the things he does with these kids, he does with Haddon too.
So when it was time for Haddon to get a haircut, I wasn’t surprised when he said,
“I want to look just like Piper.”
This request was a huge deal.
Haddon had luscious hair. It was long, flowing, curly with natural blonde highlights. People stopped me on the street and in restaurants with “I would pay to get my hair like this.”
The truth is, my kid’s hair looked better than mine most days. That’s even considering that he didn’t like me to brush it. So it was messy, chaotic--just like him.
The golden locks served as an invitation. It made him look innocent, younger. His autism caused social behaviors that were frequently misunderstood. The bright yellow highlights worked like a beacon—this kid is different, slow down. Expect the unexpected.
We kept it long as he got older. Because we liked it. But also because he was afraid of haircuts. He screamed a lot in the salon chair. I used to quiet him with lollipops while my hairdresser swiftly went into action. As time progressed, his tolerance grew.
On the day of his appointment, he confidently walked through the double doors of the salon. He headed straight for my hairdresser and promptly hopped into the chair.
I felt concerned when I heard the buzzing sound of the clippers. I wasn’t sure how he would handle it. But then he gleefully shouted,
“It’s a CHAINSAAAWWWW!”
He’s a fan of both clippers and chainsaws, apparently.
When he got home, he couldn’t wait to share the news.
“PIPER! I LOOK LIKE YOU NOW!”
The minute he saw Haddon, he smiled widely. Then he walked over, leaned in and gave his brother a tight hug.
